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Jake was on his deathbed while his wife, Becky, maintained a steady vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his, and roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to quiver with sound.
"My darling Becky," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep Shhh! Don't talk."
But he was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I slept with your sister, your best friend and our next door neighbor."
Becky mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now Jake, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.
ˇˇˇˇI found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
ˇˇˇˇ"It's the smoke detector," they replied in unison.
ˇˇˇˇ"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.
Suspicious Mother « Result #4 on Mar 11, 2009, 10:31pm »
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.
Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for
dinner. Love, Brian".
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
"Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
Aunt Karens Moral « Result #5 on Mar 11, 2009, 10:31pm »
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market.
We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.
Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"
It was my first day as newcomer to Miss HargroveˇŻs seventh grade. Past ˇ°newcomerˇ± experiences had been difficult, so I was very anxious to fit in. After being introduced to the class, I bravely put on a smile and took my seat, expecting to be shunned.
Lunchtime was a pleasant surprise when the girls all crowded around my table. Their chatter was friendly, so I began to relax.wow power leveling My new classmates filled me in on the school, the teachers and the other kids. It wasnˇŻt long before the class nerd was pointed out to me: Mary Lou English. Actually she called herself Mary Louise. A prim, prissy young girl with a stern visage and old-fashioned clothes, she wasnˇŻt ugly -- not even funny looking. I thought she was quite pretty,wow gold but I had sense enough not to say so. Dark-eyed and olive-skinned, she had long, silky black hair, but -- she had pipe curls! Practical shoes, long wool skirt and a starched, frilly blouse completed the image of a complete dork. The girlsˇŻ whispers and giggles got louder and louder. Mary Lou made eye contact with no one as she strode past our table, chin held high with iron determination. She ate alone.
After school, the girls invited me to join them in front of the school.wow power leveling I was thrilled to be a member of the club, however tentative. We waited. For what, I didnˇŻt yet know. Oh, how I wish I had gone home, but I had a lesson to learn.
Arms wrapped around her backpack, Mary Lou came down the school steps. The taunting began - rude, biting comments and jeering from the girls. I paused, then joined right in. My momentum began to pick up as I approached her. Nasty, mean remarks fell unabated from my lips. No one could tell IˇŻd never done this before. The other girls stepped back and became my cheerleaders. Emboldened, I yanked the strap of her backpack and then pushed her. The strap broke, Mary Lou fell and I backed off. Everyone was laughing and patting me. I fit in. I was a leader.
I was not proud. Something inside me hurt.wow power leveling If youˇŻve ever picked a wing off a butterfly, you know how I felt.
Mary Lou got up, gathered her books and -- without a tear shed or retort given -- off she went. She held her head high as a small trickle of blood ran down from her bruised knee. I watched her limp away down the street.
I turned to leave with my laughing friends and noticed a man standing beside his car. His olive skin, dark hair and handsome features told me this was her father.wow gold Respectful of Mary LouˇŻs proud spirit, he remained still and watched the lonely girl walk toward him. Only his eyes -- shining with both grief and pride -- followed. As I passed, he looked at me in silence with burning tears that spoke to my shame and scalded my heart. He didnˇŻt speak a word.
No scolding from a teacher or preaching from a parent could linger as much as that hurt in my heart from the day a father&rsqu
o;s eyes taught me kindness and strength and dignity.wow gold I never again joined the cruel herds. I never again hurt someone for my own gain.
My Declaration of Self-Esteem « Result #7 on Feb 23, 2009, 9:37pm »
The following was written in answer to a 15-year-old girlˇŻs question, ˇ°How can I prepare myself for a fulfilling life?ˇ±
I am me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.wow power leveling There are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me -- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they might be -- anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all the words that come out of it -- polite, sweet and rough, wow gold correct or incorrect; my voice, loud and soft; all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me,wow power leveling I can become intimately acquainted with me in all my parts. I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,wow power leveling and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.wow gold I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me and therefore I can engineer me.wow gold I am me and I am okay.
One World One Dream « Result #8 on Aug 20, 2008, 3:50am »
Natalie du Toit ready to make Olympic history
"It was a freak accident. When I was riding home from a swimming practice on a motor scooter, a car drove into my leg. I didn't know what would happen. But I had a dream of being part of the Olympic Games and seeing how well I could do. I didn't ever think that I wouldn't make the Olympic Games.gears"
Natalie du Toit is possibly one of the most inspirational people you could ever hope to meet.Conqueror
As a teenager, the South African athlete garnered a lot of attention as she fired across the swimming pool. Although she missed qualifying for the Sydney Olympic Games, she shrugged it off, iteams looking forward to Athens for her Olympic debut. After all, she was only 16 at the time. With this goal in mind, she trained tirelessly. However, only one year after the Sydney Games, while she was working towards an appearance in Athens, a car accident put her in the hospital with a serious leg injury.World of Warcraft Raid
At the medical center, doctors amputated her leg through her left knee.Protector.
Rather than allow this to bring her down, she was back in the pool four months later. WoW S4"I knew I had no muscle, I had no fitness. I had nothing basically. That is why I had to build up all my fitness again," she said, with determination.Forgotten Vanquisher.
Not long after climbing back into the water, she earned the world's admiration by being the first WoW T4 athlete with a disability to qualify for a final of an international able-bodied swimming event,WoW T5 the 800m Freestyle at the 2002 Commonwealth Games.
Although she wears a prosthetic on land, "while swimming, I can be free of any prosthetic limb,"wow pl said Du Toit proudly. The talented athlete has proven that the mind can be as strong as you will it to WoW T6, pushing herself to train through her disability. She narrowly missed qualifying for the Athens Olympic Games, but created a huge name for herself in the Paralympic Games,cheapest power leveling taking five golds and one silver.
Her dream of competing in the Olympic Games will come true on Wednesday,cheapest wow power leveling in the Women's Marathon 10km. She qualified for Beijing in May, when she placed fourth in the World Open Water Swimming Championships in Seville,wow powerlevel Spain.
"I am not the first ever amputee to qualify for the Olympics.wow power level There is an American gymnast George Eyser who won six medals in the 1904 Olympics with a wooden prosthesis for his left leg," said Natalie modestly.power leveling
Du Toit has become one of South Africa's most well-known motivational speakers.powerleveling She talks to groups about her experience, urging listeners to be all that they can be. "It is important to swim your own race and not someone else's" is one of her most memorable quotes.Warhammer Online power leveling
At the Opening Ceremony of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, Natalie strode ahead of the South African squadŁ¬wow powerleveling carrying her nation's flag.
In the past ten days, she has been wow power leveling swimming in the Water Cube every morning. "Actually at this stage, all training has been done. These days I swim to get relaxed. Nothing hard,"warcraft powerleveling shrugged Natalie.
"Beijing is an amazing city.warcraft power leveling After all competitions, I will go to the Great Wall, Forbidden City and see pandas," she said.
Her favorite Fuwa? "I like Beibei and Huanhuan most. Beibei symbolizes world of warcraft powerleveling swimming and water. Red is a lucky color in South Africa. So I bought Huanhuan also. I hope they can bring me good luck!world of warcraft power leveling"
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